Took a Facebook political test the other day. Turns out I’m 85% Democrat.

WHAT?? My late Republican husband is spinning in his grave. He spent 26 years teaching me why we were Republicans.

I went along with his political choices because I was raising children, and he was a college educated man who had a degree in business and economics. I trusted him. He studied issues. He wrote letters to the editor.

I was also the daughter of an independent businessman. A pediatrician when pediatricians worked for themselves.

I was a Republican because businessmen were Republicans. I was the wife of a salesman. I had plans like he did. He’d get rich and I’d volunteer. That’s how we’d help the poor.

Except he never got rich.

I watched as he would work hard to meet quotas, then the quotas would change.

I watched as he opened up European markets and sold thousands of whatchamacallits, only to be told,

“I’m sorry Paul, we can’t make enough whatchamacallits to fill your order. Another client gets them all. Guess you’ll have to call your customers and give them the bad news”. No commission when that happens.

I watched as he was let go when his company was bought out.

I also watched him lose our house during the banking crisis.

Watched him take up the bottle which he could never put down.

His mother watched him die in her arms during a seizure caused by the DT’s.

He left five children.

By Grace we received the life insurance he had paid fifteen years on. He’d stopped paying the bill the last six weeks of his life and was two weeks over the grace period.

We would have had nothing. As it was, we had nothing, I was living completely on my father’s dime.

The pediatrician who is 90. Who is working for the state. You heard right, he’s STILL working.

And still helping me. He allows me to rent out my late mother’s beach condo.

If you are interested. 🙂

But without my father, I’d be in the position SO many people are in.

Homeless, helpless, hopeless.

And because of that, I can’t pretend we all get equal chances to win the jackpot.

I can’t follow the old party line, “If you just work hard enough”.

Ask ANY migrant farmworker how far hard work gets you?

Wish you could ask my husband.

And while we are at it, I lost my only brother to AIDS 20 years ago. Yes, he was gay. He didn’t live long enough to fight for his rights. But I can.

So, yeah, I’m a bleeding heart. An enlarged heart ready to burst.

A heart that craves for truth, parity, kindness.

I’m searching.

KT 🙂

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