Month: January 2014


I’ve had this thought;

We finally decided to not shame children anymore by calling them bastards & illegitimate or their mothers “unwed”.

So why are we shaming children of gay parents by calling their parents illegitimate & unwed?

It isn’t the gay parents hurting their children, it’s society’s labels of their parents union that hurts.

“Wrong, immoral, sin, evil, perverted, twisted, ungodly, bestial, comparable to the worse that humans can do.”

Think any of the children want to hear their parents called that?

Words mean things. They hurt people.

Stop saying hurtful things and hurting people.


Best Man With Cerebral Palsy Toasts Twin In Unforgettable Speech

That unconditional love is real and it starts in the home.
That joy and happiness are real.
That brotherhood can be a beautiful thing.
That a smile and a sense of humor speak volumes.

Kindness Blog

Korey Soderman has all the dirt on his twin brother, Kyle.

Korey, who has cerebral palsy, let some of those secrets fly during his best man speech at Kyle’s wedding two weeks ago. Because Korey can’t speak, Kyle read the speech out loud — once he choked back happy tears, of course.

The Sodermans, from West Palm Beach, Fla., have never let Korey’s condition get in their way. His mom, Wendy, started her own private school, IDEAL & Dream School, when she had difficulty finding a preschool for Korey, according to an A&E documentary about the family.

Korey, meanwhile, founded his own nonprofit, Korey’s Krew, which works with teens and young adults with physical disabilities.

“I’m differently abled,” he told the Palm Beach Post in 2010, after winning an award for his community service. “I can do what others do, I just do it differently.”

Source: Huffington Post & Youtube

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FACEBOOK- Today’s Front Porch

We are in a new world these days. Our communities exist on-line. The new model for how we interact and live in the world. Where we shop, learn or hang out.

A lot of us hang out on Facebook.

Facebook  is a complicated Venn diagram of friends and associations.

We can have a small gated circle of friends, or we can include the whole world, with many combinations in-between. 

We can be in one small circle of friends and be part of larger circles. We don’t have to choose the same friends our friends do and we have the power to shun anyone we want.

It is a virtual neighborhood. One where I say, we are all joined on our front porches.

The modern-day stoop.

We come at different times of day to swap stories, share news and vacation pictures. To smile and nod at each other and wave as the cars go by. To check on each other, make each other laugh, support each other.

We share our dreams, hopes, fears, and disappointments.

Like any neighborhood there can be problems.  As your Neighborhood Watch leader I’d like to submit, if we all acted a little more neighborly the ‘hood could be a better place.

I’ve got a few suggestions.

Keep your clothes on.

Take naked back inside where it belongs. There is a place for that, even online. But not on your front porch.

Keep your racist, sexist, homophobic jokes and thoughts inside too. Way inside. Keep them in the basement in a cage .

Don’t SHOUT from your porch.

Keep your political placards to a minimum. Please don’t litter the lawn with them.

Don’t talk about others behind their back. There is no back in this neighborhood. It’s all comes out front eventually.

Try not to be impulsive and run out on your porch hysterical, you’ll only embarrass yourself. Don’t be the boy who cried wolf. Your neighbors are there to help you when you really need it.

Take private conversations inside.

Don’t pass along chain letters. It’s bad luck.

Keep your door to door sales to a minimum and only sell what you truly have used and believe in.

Take your flag down at night.

And the biggest thing our mother’s told us not to do on the front porch?

Don’t hang your dirty laundry there.

Welcome to the neighborhood!

KT 🙂


My 90-year-old dad is still working as a pediatrician!

Grandpa dr

He sits in a cubical reviewing pediatric disability claims for the state. The only pediatrician they have working for them in San Diego County. He plays golf three times a week and shoots below his age. All you hackers out there, know what that means!

Today I wandered into a group called, “You know your from El Cajon when…” on Facebook. I asked them if they remembered Dr. Donald M. Montgomery.

The response was wonderful but not surprising.

I have had it cross my mind quite a few times that I will need to write the obituary for this man someday.

He is ninety. I knew I’d need to sum up this great man’s life in a special way. I knew that the people he touched would come out of the woodwork.

What an awesome gift I’ve been given and can share with him. I’ll be able to show him now while he lives how many lives he touched.

Bud, “Dr. Montgomery? The wonderful Dr. Montgomery? Who didn’t love Dr. Montgomery? A wonderful and caring man. As a child, I actually enjoyed going to the Dr., even if it meant getting a shot.”

Judith, “I remember Dr. Montgomery. I took all 3 of my sons to him.”

Diann, “He was my daughter’s pediatrician 46 years ago…..a wonderful doctor.”

Elva, “He was a wonderful doctor for both my children in the 70’s. Glad he is doing well.”

Chris, “He was my pediatrician! It’s weird all of the things I remember about going to see him. He was a wonderful doctor!”

Kimbreley, “He was my girls pediatrician. I loved him.”

Missie, “He cared for my son in 1985, best Dr. ever, loved him.”

Carl, “Wow. That guy was totally my doctor when I was a kid! I remember the exam rooms…the “circus room”…the “pirate room”. He was a very nice guy and a great doctor! I am glad to see that he has lived such a long life.”

Susan, “What a kind gentile man!! I remember his license plate was DMMD️”

It actually was DMMMD. Donald Mac Montgomery M.D.. My brother got him the plates for a Christmas present.

Brian, “He was my pediatrician, early 1960’s.”

Kim, “Oh my gosh he was my doctor when I was a little girl. He was so nice. One of the nurses would make me crochet ribbons for my pig tails. Small world.”

Steve, “I remember Dr. Montgomery well… he gave me stitches and vaccinations many times. I even went to his office when I was 20 and cut my foot because he didn’t charge too much for tetanus shots. Very nice man.”

Barbara, “Dr. Montgomery, he was my daughter’s doctor for years after they were born. Very good doctor.”

Susanne, “Ahhh. He was my doctor as a child. I remember him!”

Patty, “What a wonderful caring doctor, he had such a way with kids…God Bless Him…sure made a difference in many children’s lives.”

Kimbreley, “I think for me the biggest thing was when my oldest daughter cut the side of her eye and here I come in panic mode and he calmed me right down.  It wasn’t just what he did for the kids but for us parents as well. Oh, and I have to put this in. Since moving out of California and living in other states I have not found a doctor like him since. He always took his time and that is all thumbs up to him.”

Cheryle, “He was my brother’s and all my children’s doctor.”

Larry, “Your Dad always patched up my surfing-skateboarding-generally stupid kid wounds!”

Leslie, “Omg!! Of course I do. My mother took me to him when my Dr. Persky was out-of-town. I was real sick and he picked me up and I got sick on him and I remember he was so patient so kind.  I think i was like 5 😊.”

Kara, “I went to Dr. Montgomery until I was in college lol and I took my son to him as well….always loved the “pirate” room. lol.”

Elva, “My kids are 39 and 40. He was their doctor from birth…he always spent time with you and it was always a pleasure to be in his presence.  Hope he does live to be the oldest man alive…”

Bonnie, “Dr. Montgomery took care of my daughter from birth…1972 was the year she was born… Wow.”

Julie, “OMG He was my son’s pediatrician!!!! He was SO WONDERFUL!!!! ❤ They went to him for many years ❤ My oldest was asthmatic, which is SO scary and your dad was SO comforting and explained what I needed to do in terms I could understand–he was just the BEST!!!! <3”

Laura, “Omg!..He was me and my twin sister Linda’s pediatrician over 50 years ago…still have my hospital  bracelet in my baby book with his name on it. Dr Fredickson delivered us and Dr. Montgomery was our pediatrician. Praises to him. Prayers for an even longer, happy life!”

Matthew, “Thank you for letting all of us know what happened to our Dr. Montgomery!  Me, my brother and all three of my sisters went to Dr. Montgomery.”

Susan, “He was awesome! Took care of all the “Skillings” kids !”

Carrie, “Wow. I remember when he took out a huge splinter that I got at Girl Scout camp.”

Lorrie, “He was our pediatrician!!  VERY KIND!!!!”

Laura, “I am looking through my baby book, the hospital bracelet I have is from when I was 8 months old. My mom wrote, “You had a 105 degree temperature, you were dehydrated. You were fed intravenously in a vein in your head. In the hospital Dr. Montgomery took good care of you.”….I remember my mom saying if they didn’t bring me to the hospital when they did, I wouldn’t be here today and that Dr. Montgomery saved my life!, thank you!”

Julie, “Another thing I was just remembering was when my youngest son was born at Grossmont, he was jaundiced so had to stay after I  was discharged and when I called later that day to find out how my son was doing they gave me info on the wrong baby–they had “misplaced” my son. When I called your dad he was livid and “had a talk” with the pediatric nurses there and he “found” my baby. He called me back right away to tell me everything was fine–my son was doing okay etc. I was terrified and he “talked me down” in his calm, caring way.   I had to share that–if he thinks he isn’t remembered, we just have to let him know that is NOT the case!!!”

Wendy, ” Sweet Doctor Monte …”
And that was the first day I posted after just a few hours.

That’s MY dad! How proud have I been to say, “I’m a doctor’s daughter.” Never had a moment when that wasn’t true. How much has he done for ME? I tried to explain,

I’m hoping to keep his wisdom and kindness alive forever.
I wrote a poem in my teens. My mother didn’t like it.

I know I learned from daddy when I was very small,
that God was just like daddy or he wasn’t God at all.

I still believe it.
His daughter,
KT 🙂

PS. Here’s a picture of the treasure map from the “pirate room”. Hand painted by my mother.

pirate map


It’s time. I will not be silenced any more. Silence IS death for me. That’s not my original thought. My late gay brother taught me SILENCE=DEATH.

“Katie is a bright student but she TALKS TOO MUCH”

“Katie would cry if the plague left. Snort, snort.”

That’s what I DO!

I talk and cry.

For many years my email was kttalks. I evolved enough that at one point I changed it to ktskindear. Now, that’s not KT skin dear. That’s KT’s kind ear. KT, you need to be a better listener I said to myself.

People really need to be listened to and who are you to tell anybody anything anyway? You didn’t finish your college degree. Many people won’t even talk to you without one, let alone think you have advice to offer.

I do have 70 or so college credits. All the general education requirements done for a four-year college degree. I just decided to go independent study and major in motherhood.

We all know now that 10,000 hours practice and study can make you an expert in whatever you’ve spent those hours doing.

I’ve been heavy-duty, one on one, in-home mothering.

There are 8,760 hours in a year. I’ve raised five children, four to adulthood.

First child, 8,760x18yrs=157,680 hours mothering. Fourteen months later,

Second child, 8,760x18yr=157,680 hours mothering 2 children. Two and half years later,

Third child, 8,760x18yr=157,680 hours mothering 3 children. Three years later lost a baby.

Fourth child, spent about an hour with his tiny 5oz body. A year later,

Fifth child, 8,760x18yr=157,680 hours mothering four children. Six years later,

Sixth child, spent about an hour with his tiny 5oz body. A year later,

Seventh child, 8,760×13=113,880 hours mothering five children.

That’s 744,600 of woman hours mothering! Drop 10,000 into that and I’m

a mothering expert 74 times over!

In my wildest dreams I’d do stand up. I like to talk and I think I’m funny.  But I did have a more realistic dream of writing about my parenting philosophy.

To that end I started,

My “incomplete guide to lazy fair parenting”. But found very early I had a lot more to say on a lot more subjects.

So, welcome to Kind communication through straight talk.

I want to be the easiest person to talk to. I’ll talk about anything. But I listen.

I want to facilitate communication. I want to find our similarities and joys. I don’t want anything hidden.

Except maybe what’s in your hankie. I like basic courtesies.

But most everything is on the table.

Politics, sex and religion don’t scare me.

I’m not trying to promote anything but mutual understanding.

Bridging gaps. Generational gaps, gender gaps, class gaps and racial divides.

We are, all of us individually worthy of respect, kindness and understanding.

This is my little corner of the woods and whether anyone hears me falling. I’m going to make some noise!

KT 🙂